vibes of solitude

"memory of marie a"

2011-02-27T10:55:00.000-08:00

One day in blue-moon September,
Silent under a plum tree,
I held her, my silent pale love
in my arms like a fair and lovely dream.
Above us in the summer skies,
Was a cloud that caught my eye.
It was so white and high up,
and when I looked up, it was no longer there.

And since that moment, many a September
Came sailing in, then floated down the stream.
No doubt the plum trees were cut down for timber
And if you ask what happened to my dream
I shall reply: I cannot now remember
Though what you have in mind I surely know.
And yet her face: I really don't recall it.
I just recall I kissed long ago.

Even the kiss would have been long forgotten
If that white cloud had not been in the sky.
I know the cloud, and shall know it forever,
It was pure white and, oh, so very high.
Perhaps the plum trees still are there and blooming.
Perhaps that woman has six children too.
But that white cloud bloomed only for a moment:
When I looked up, it vanished in the blue.

-Romanticism at its best.. by famous German poet Brecht..

love...

2009-11-01T11:54:00.000-08:00

sometimes love is like that
you never know when it happens
Its the longing to see, to walk along, to speak your heart out
Deep inside the feeling grows that she is all yours
And finally when realizing that it was all a dream, you bury them down

Once in a while you brush them up with a drop of tear
Again the heart would wish: "had she been mine..."

inspired from Madhavikuty a.k.a Kamala das, the lady who opted a less travelled path in literature...

the original in malayalam is like this..

Chila ishtangal anganeyanu. ariyathe ariyathe nammal ishtappettupokum.onnu kanan oppam nadakkan ere samsarikkan vallathe kothikkum.ennum entethu mathramanennu veruthe karuthum. oduvil ellam veruthe aayirunnuvennu thirichariyumbol ullinte ullil evideyenkilum aa ishtathe nammal kuzhich moodum.pinneedeppozhenkilum randu thulli kannuneerinte nanavode aa ishtathe nammal veendum oorkum.appozhum hrudayam vallathe kothikkunnundakum.
"aval entethaayirunnenkil..."

life in the recycle bin

2009-06-17T08:11:00.000-07:00

"Hi you just deleted me"
Said I with a flash
Of laughter that none noticed
Except of course my brothers and cousins.

Someone asked me once,
'hows life in the recycle bin'
"Nice",I said,
"You don't have the sky to ideate,
You don't have the stars to dream at,
Its an air tight box
But I can sleep undisturbed."

People ask, 'don't you feel afraid'
Do I?
I may, But its better than the thousand clicks
That stamp me everyday,
the silent laughter of the crowd,
the mocking faces around me,
the unwanted sympathy,
the unheard cry,
the unsaid words.
Yes, I am afraid, ..of the world outside.

'Are you mad?',shot another.
I laughed.
I should be mad.
I'm not in life, not in death.
Hanging, waiting for someone to pull up.
Or push me down.
Or am I waiting?
I don't know.
I am mad for sure.

"You are funny!"...
Am I?
The joker of the lot.
With the mask to make you laugh,
When the eyes are pouring?
Maybe I am.

"Who are you?"
The confused life.
Your mistake is my life.
And when you correct it
I'm gone
Yes, I'm Gone.

travel

2009-06-15T06:51:00.000-07:00

i think i need a bike
a tricycle rather...
to move around
to go around the world...
So till that time
let me sleep...

the end

2009-06-15T06:40:00.000-07:00

Did you hear the voice
the breeze
the song
the scream

maybe the nightingale died
shot by the deaf bullet

maybe the rose faded
crushed by the blind boots

maybe its the world's end, or...
is its the beginning?, or...
is it just my vision fading?

Pablo Neruda's "Tonight I can write the saddest lines"

2009-03-02T07:46:00.000-08:00

"Tonight I Can Write The Saddest Lines
I can write the saddest lines of all, tonight.

Write, like: 'The night is broken,
and the stars, blue, are trembling in the distance..

Whirling around in the sky, the lonely night wind sang...

Tonight I can render the saddest words.
I loved her once , maybe she too loved me sometime.

How many nights like this, I held her in my arms.
Kissed her over and over, beneath the boundless sky.

She loved me profoundly, I too loved her many a time.
How could I not have loved those love filled deep still eyes?

This night I can Write the saddest poem of all,
I can think I don't have her, feel that I've lost her.

To hear the immense night, more immense without her.
And like dew fall on the grass, the poem drops down to the soul.

What matters now, when my love couldn't hold her.
The night is broken and she is not with me.

There ends the grief. Far away, far beyond my sight, someone sang.

As if to get close, my eyes search for her, again.
she is not with me but my heart seek her still.

That night, those trees whitened in moonlight, may still be the same.
Not we, we are the same lovers no longer; we changed, we changed a lot.

I will no longer love her, true, but how much I loved her.
My voice searched for the wind to brush her ear.

Someone else's. She will be someone else's. like she once belonged to my kisses.
So will her voice, her serene light body. Her infinite eyes.

I will never again love her, true, but perhaps I might love her.
Love is so short, oblivion so long...

Because its on nights like this that in my arms I held her so close,
my soul turns restless on having lost her forever.

Although this may be the last pain she causes me,
Although this may be the last poem I write for her."

ps : Pablo Neruda's this poem has been translated a 1000 times...
This one is my tribute,adding up a little more emotion which i felt the other translations never tried to portray... with due regards to Pablo Neruda, various English translators, Malayalam Translation by Chullikkad - on whose works this is based upon.

The Street Singer

2008-04-16T07:20:00.000-07:00

Rain drops fell on my gray umbrella
Knocking with the sound of a thousand dreams
But they failed to make to my lazy ears
Which were waiting for my legs to make the move.

"Laugh Aloud,Cry Along"
The woman, rather the girl sang
Dusky little thing as she...
Her voice through the rain reached some ears around
Pausing some of those wet legs in the street
Passing a tiny small wave of silence along with it.

More subtle was the pause than those words
Which were roaming around my idle brain
my eyes glanced the distaste in the faces
Of those disturbed minds,running as ever
In the city which never sleeps with the people
Who never woke up to look around.

Leaving a penny in her cap, i joined them
And her song washed out slowly.

A Sad Song of Love...

2008-01-28T01:10:00.001-08:00

Never did you seek those roses that were kept for you

Roses, reddened with the blood spilled from my heart

......

Never were those words seen, which I wrote upon my life for you
Never ever those fingers touched the strings, beating in my heart, for you...

Beyond the blinded centuries, far beyond the endless depths of memories
I still know you dear, as the faint saffron that once came in my winter sky

Its pain, I know, these thought of you, my dear, and ah...what happiness it brings
the pain ‘cause of you!
Let my cup be filled, forever, by the pain, the pain you gave me with your absence…

[the poem abv is intentionally put in RED...as this is a tribute to that great work 'anandadhaara' by balachandran chullikkaad...as i think i haven't portrayed one hundredth of the emotions that are involved in that wonderful poem!!! ]

i'm back ..whtt???

2007-10-29T10:17:00.000-07:00

so i'm here again.. trying to write :)

but now i'm in a little strange situation that my little blog will be wondering what this man is doing ...
thats obvious if he(rather 'it' ) thinks so...'cause i named him with 'solitude' and now i'm trying to write anthr log in him at home where 4 of my roommates(flat mates if said precise) is around making all kinds of noise together with the most influential discovery in human history showing of its full talent(oh ho..i meant 'tv'... thats my problem when i start my bla bla ..i keep on doing it making the listener first impress.. then embarrass.. and finally decide upon one gr8 truth-'maan this guy is intolerable if he is allowed to speak :) ' )
now coming back to the problem ..
i am supposed to write here in my blog and people are supposed to read it ...otherwise this wonderful wonderful page created by blogspot or blogger(Google analogy)or whatever.. will cease to remain an interesting place and finally it will go to its graveyard which is of course in the layers of an unused hard disk of some blunt machine which Google keeps in the worst node which they get with their least access time algorithm...
'no..i wont let u die like that' (tears! ) -is something i can do... or maybe thats the easiest thing i can do to escape :)
But still... i should write..its my pride...ppl think i can write..or mayb if put in the right way 'i think ppl like me write' or in a better way ' i like to assume that ppl like me writing' :)
ok ok
i am not gonna write more shit making my last reader also close the window..
i am gonna write something..
ok got it...
lets goon to next post :) see you there...

chhotti si love story

2007-10-23T08:02:00.001-07:00

some strange curiosity made me put this here..or a very long obsession...
manisha koirala had been my favourite lady and maybe it is my chhotti si love story :)

"will you come for dinner with me ?? "

Love Story

dreamer

2007-08-21T23:55:00.000-07:00

dreamer
i think i should find a nest,
Somewhere high above,
maybe in a cloud.
I can sleep a while then
Awake and see the show
down,live;and sleep again
without worries of shutting down..

ps:dedicated to software engineers

dreamy girl ;)

2007-06-27T05:58:00.000-07:00

there's a song in bollywood movie pardes- 'kissi ros tumse..' the song symbolizes the wait of the hero for his dreamgirl... one of my all time favorites...
don't compare to it what I'm gonna write down :)
maybe me and the lyricist of the other song shared the same views at some points!!

"For how many years I've been searching you

and how many years further shall i
though your voice is still in my ears
and ur face is still bright in my dreams,
I'm alone in here, awaiting those footsteps...
when will you come down from my dreams"

...sry no time to write more...my friend is out there askin me to come out...for the movie showtime is nearing :) bayeeee..wil complete some other time

poems...writing...

2007-06-01T07:02:00.001-07:00

poems...writing...

somebody once wisely mentioned...poetry is poor mans telegraph!!
yes..the words are too less but compact enough to carry a storm within..
so that makes the stand for poetry within the great literature set clearly dominated by novels!
now comes the bigger question, why i write poems?
answer is simple..i am not sure to keep the spirit in the words if i write a novel or even a short story..

whenever i get an impulse,i think i can write it down as a poem before i loose that state- u see,the mind of a young human is very vibrant and spontaneous-but its a flash memory(in techno verses :) ) ~emotions are too short to stay awake till the end,if i write a novel:)
One other thing i have always wondered is how people can write about things from a completely different angle..for me,whenever i sit down and write something, whatever fiction i choose it eventually takes its most from my life only!!!

so strange,isn't it??

so that was about me and writing!!
and now u may think after checking the blog that u can't find an indigenous,truly me article!! hmm..that surely needs some space to explain.
I tried writing,tried again n again...my reading also increased meanwhile..many a times i realized one great truth..the things i was going to write;the things that needed to be penned down,are already done by someone else..that too in such a beautiful manner that i see myself in those lines!
those lines keep on burning in my mind creating that peculiar effect that would stop only if i did something and that something i'm doing now...i translate poems,i write about what others wrote..and so n so.
maybe at some point of time i'l get something which is entirely me!! :)

so that speaks something abt this blog...and i think thats enough for the day :)
or i'l start writing some more bla bla stuff which eventually even i wont read later ;)

Noise!

2007-03-23T05:36:00.000-07:00

vibes of solitude is the caption of this entire blog..but at least physically I’m not that now..Sitting with a lost mind in a half cubicle (that’s where time placed me before 7-8 months..still continuing) I feel alone in the crowd. May be thats the solitude I meant while naming the blog...or maybe its simply the word..’solitude’…I liked the term much from the first time I saw,first time I heard…It has a strange kind of affection,a pulling force :)

and when it comes to vibes…its really the solitude in me that’s vibes out the words…so it’s the vibes of solitude…the voice of solitude that pours out…doesn’t mean that I’m lonely all the way. But I prefer loneliness sometimes…and that loneliness,the solitude makes me think…makes me write…

I should have put the name as ‘Noise’ as I feel now… :)

Its always the scattered feelings that I pour out or rather my solitude pours…

Scattered voices aka Noise

mistress of solitude...

2006-12-19T05:49:00.000-08:00

Oh mistress of solitude
At the doorsteps
Of your sacred palace
I stand, like a stranger
Holding the rose
The red of my heart

In your sad silent tears
Swept down were my dreams
With a sigh, went
My hopes... My faith
Dead were my flowers
By the sparks of your mind

Like a night, silently
Moving away from the day

It’s my time to part...

In the lonely path
Of your memories
Once you will see me
Once you’ll discover
My footsteps...
Even then my soul
Will whisper to you
That I loved you once
Like the silent night
It’s my time to part...

:) as u understud, a desperate attempt to try 'vayalar' [for those whu are not familiar with malayalam poetry..he was one of the greatest]

the rajpath - NIT calicut - my college

2006-09-13T05:56:00.000-07:00

Thought i would not write anything on this page...
for this page is to be left alone to speak out
about 'those days'-as everyone say...

ps:to be continued

Shades

2006-08-30T07:28:00.000-07:00

Shades *
----------
In these stone steps...
Under these tree shades...
If u had sit once again
I would have covered you
With all the flowers the fall brought down..

Like the silence of a cloudy dusk
If you had come to me
I would have been that monsoon
Which would light up that dark
With all the lightning sparks in me…

If in a winter you woke up
As a blossom colored by dew
I would have given you the red
Glowing inside my heart and
All that warmth left in my soul…

Will these rains and the changing seasons
Converge the paths of life
To a point of time
For that would have written those
Unsaid words on an unseen rose of the heart…

Ps:* in name of something :)...

In my heaven of darkness...

2006-08-30T04:17:00.000-07:00

Asleep in the depths of darkness,I was aroused
Aroused to see my feathers coloured in life
Given was my outstretched wings an open sky,
And a nest in your hearts branch
For the dusk ...

Every small blossom,every gentle breeze
Brings your thoughts in me
Where else will i get that ocean to fill
When my lifes drying up
Where else can i find that sky which
You spout with your kindness

After the streams lullabies weakens
When the last nightangle pauses
When even the stones turn out sugar
May the time lose its way, but
My heart will be with yours
And that will be my refuge...

Never can i detach from your heart
May it be the heaven that calls
Like rain drops on the sky
I will fall...
Fall and merge in the ocean of your heart
And that is my heaven
Only there lies my truth and salvage...

inspired by V.Madhusoodhanan Nair's famous Malayalam Poem 'Irulin Mahanidrayil...'